Getting started on something is always the hardest part. I have so many things I want to write about but I can't decide what.
So I'm going to start talking about what I know best: my own life.
I woke up today at 7:32 a.m., barely woke up, and got myself to shower. I'm a morning shower type guy.
I went to CVS on Thayer Street around 8 a.m. and got triple-A batteries for an alarm clock I ordered impromptu yesterday. I wanted to stop using my phone as an alarm just to limit blue light exposure right before and right after I sleep.
After my successful CVS trip, I went to Ceremony Cafe. Super pretty interiors and a very cute atmosphere.
I studied there for about an hour and moved to Barus and Holley, Brown University's engineering building, before class at 10:30 a.m.
DISCLAIMER: I am normally not as "productive" in the morning as today. I normally stay at home and have time to maybe grab breakfast from the dining hall (Sharpe Refractory, or as Brown students call it: "Ratty"; my friends and I call it the "Rat" and "Ratatatat").
Currently 1:44 p.m. I am writing this blog instead of preparing for my thermodynamics exam next week.
Soon, I have love. I wish. BUT I actually do have, a class on, love (literally called "Love: The Concept and Practice"). It's a really interesting class, dealing with several forms of love in religious, philosophical, and practical contexts.
So what is love?
Taking the class made me more confused. We talked about transcendent love vs. earthly love, dealing with Plato's "Symposium" and Louise Erdrich's "Love Medicine." Then we talked about Divine Love, dealing with Solomon's "Song of Songs," the film "Brother Sun, Sister Moon," the idea of Sufism, Kierkegaard's "Works of Love," the film "Dead Man Walking," and Simone Weil's (my personal favourite) "Waiting for God." Then we delved into the love of every day. Then love of friendship. And today we are starting to learn about eros, sensual or passionate love.
SO WHAT IS LOVE?
I have no clue still.
Maybe it's that Ceremony tea I drank in the morning. Maybe it's the first bite of the taiyaki I had. Maybe it's the bathing of the Sun on my way to CVS. Maybe it's a couple kissing, dancing in the rain, cuddling, and sharing stories. Maybe it's sex. Maybe it's religion.
All I know is that it is REAL. It is a feeling that is undeniably true. Maybe it's the singular truth of life.
But that seems too final and love doesn't seem final, although it could be.
So. What. Is. Love?
At this point, I'm convinced it's something you just aim to experience, or do, or gift, or be gifted, your entire life and you can only know what it is once you've done that.
So love can't be explained fully. It's ever-changing like the concept of infinity and maybe even our notion of God, but it's real. We feel it.
Or I'm completely wrong (highly likely).
Who knows? Who cares what it is. It feels good. So I'm going to continue trying to love. Because why not :)